It’s not so much that I don’t approve – it doesn’t actually affect me, it’s that I see so many people failing to perform and I would honestly like to see them achieve.

We’re on this planet for a maximum of what, 100 years? It sounds like a long time but as a 25 years old I already realise that I am a 1/4 of the way through a best case scenario.

I think about my parents, newspaper articles, stories of grandparents, movies, and so on and what people have and haven’t achieved in their lives. Everyone effectively lives the same life;

1. Go to school
2. Go to work
3. Buy a house
4. Have children
5. Wait for the children to leave the house
6. Retire
7. Wait to die

Granted that’s a fairly subjective way of looking at it all, but if you break it down, it is what most people do with their life and what many more will do.

People are concerned with the small things along the way. For instance during the younger working years they might be able to buy a nice motorbike. Their friends at the time will tell them that they have “made it”. Years on they will have seen their children through school, and being so “successful” they will have funded their children’s tertiary education. The children move out, they retire at 65 and then go on a three week cruise with their wife. They have won the game of life.

…Or have they? Chances are this same person has spent the last 45 years working a job that they hate. They always wanted more time with the kids but couldn’t afford to work fewer hours because of the mortgage. Their kids are on track to live the same life as them because of how they were brought up, and unfortunately the cruise was a challenge more than anything else because they had to spend so much time in close quarters with their wife who they have lost touch with after years of stress and neglect due to their work.

As children we have these dreams of being all sorts of things. I remember wanting to own a black Porsche 911, being a BMX champion, live in a rainforest, and so on. Things that most adults would put in the “unobtainable” category. Are they really that ridiculous though?

Granted nowadays I lust over a Porsche but know full well that the money spent on one would help me attain many other things ($200,000 would bring in enough income every year for me to justify taking a day off of work every week).

These supposedly unobtainable goals are the ones that keep us excited and ideally, happy. I strongly believe that if I’m not happy, my wife won’t be happy. This means that while I always take her into account, from time to time I need to be honest to her about what I want from life. The alternative is “forgetting it” and ultimately living a life of regret.

Our society breeds mediocrity and no one can break you out of this mold aside from yourself. If you are very lucky a close friend or loved one may push you, but ultimately it’s up to you to make the choice to break free.

Start to define what you want from life, then start living your life in the direction of achieving your goals.

It’s not to say that you need to always be meeting goals and turning your life into some sort of statistical report, it’s just important to make sure that you are where you want to be or on track to where you want to be. Goals could be as simple as “be happy” or be ridiculously complex too. My goals are relatively simple, although will require some effort from myself and my partner.

I want to remain free, happy and healthy. I DON’T want the same lifestyle until the day I die. I don’t want the same job, same bills, same day to day frustrations and hassles. I want the both of us to be able to change when we need it. When our lifestyle becomes one that doesn’t facilitate a good relationship, we’ll change. Ultimately everyone has the ability to do this, it’s just that many people tie themselves down and then it all becomes too hard.

Think about what you would like and start to work towards it. Try not to think too much about possessions, they will come with the lifestyle that you want to attain.

If life isn’t how you pictured it would be, make some dreams.

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Dreaming Bigger than Mediocrity

We both have a backpack with “the essentials” – clothes and toiletries basically.

When we were first packing, it didn’t seem to be enough – it was as though we were leaving all of this “stuff” behind. We felt as though we would never survive without it, but within a day or so that feeling completely left us. All of a sudden I realise the freedom that a light backpack gives you.

At home, when you are tied to many things – friends, work, possessions - it’s very easy to say no to things, because of all of these other external factors, but it is such a feeling of freedom when you remove them from your life. We can make last minute decisions on changes to make; we can literally get up and move in about 2 minutes if we want to.

I’ve only realised the power of freedom over the last few years. With so many possible commitments in life, it’s so easy to become intertwined in things that most people consider “life”. Contracts are a huge one – phones, internet, etc. Car loans, home loans, etc. They lock you in, and as a result, your decisions for the next “x” number of years.

I have no ongoing commitments at the moment – I’m tied to my wife and that is about it. It’s such a breath of fresh air, and I’m loving it. Who knows, maybe my opinions will change, but to be honest I doubt it. Life is great right now!

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Freedom in a Backpack

I’m unsure about my diet – I don’t know who to believe and what to believe.

I’m unsure about weather patterns it’s affect on the future of this country – I always try to be two steps ahead, but I really don’t know where my fiancee and I should live when we return from our overseas trip. Water is of great concern to me, and from everything I have read and heard Adelaide doesn’t have too brighter future.

I’m unsure about finance – nobody can be trusted anymore. Worldwide, economies will do anything to hold power via money at any cost. Australia’s population is planned to hit 35 million by 2049 despite the environmental issues, in order to keep property values from crashing, keep the economy “booming” and to supposedly keep our nation secure. Do we try and place our money in the perfect location to try and “win” from the instability in the world right now? Do we just do as everyone else does and keep our money in property, assume it’s the best investment ever, or do we just exit the world as we know it?

On top of all this, I just can’t see how I can bring a child into this world. My fiancee feels the same way. It’s just not fair to be making a decision like that. We love kids, but without knowing our own future, how can we possibly bring someone else into the world with that uncertainty?

There are so many to list, and while I want to consider them all and decide where I stand and what I want to do, I also know that I need to clear my mind. I think way too much and need to relax.

Interesting times…

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Clarity

It’s interesting how we change during our lives. As a child we are completely free. We are happy to attempt anything, laugh and play and run and smile and whatever happens happens. Never thinking of the consequences, just acting in the moment.

As we begin to grow up though, we learn that there are consequences to our actions. While this is healthy – learning for ourselves that we can get hurt from jumping from something too high – we also learn a lot from our parents. We are told not to climb too high – “you will fall and hurt yourself, come down please”, told to slow down on our bike – “don’t go too fast, you will hurt yourself” and told not to eat too many lollies – “you will feel sick if you eat too many of those”. It’s not a negative thing – parents look out for the well-being of their children.

From the innocent advice given by our parents when we were young, we are then bombarded with why not to do things. Fear on TV, fear in the paper, fear everywhere. If we aren’t given the advice directly by the TV, our parents are. Stay in line and everything will be ok, you will be safe, but be different, and who knows what will happen!

Most people, myself included to an extent, grow up into people that just conform and do the same as everyone else. We no longer laugh and run around and jump and do whatever we choose. We know that if we laugh at the wrong thing people can be offended. We know if we run around and jump up and down we will look like an idiot, so we take the safe option.

We all call it “growing up” and “being sensible”, but from my experience most people hate the constraints in which they live… They crave the freedom that they had as a child, it just takes a long time to realise this.

It seems almost a textbook lifestyle cycle for the Baby Boomers – my parents’ generation. They were born, free spirited fun loving children, then “grew up” and did the “sensible” thing and bought houses, had families and so on. Now as the kids are moving out, they are wanting their freedom back. Some may be rich enough to buy a holiday house, some travel around the world by plane or on a cruise ship, while others buy a caravan and drive around, stopping wherever they please. It’s becoming less and less common for them to just grow old in their house nowadays.

It’s been something that I have been aware of for a few years now, but only now am I piecing it all together. Humans are creatures that are born in nature. We need our freedom to be sane. Early this year my fiancee and I made the decision to lead a life of change. We will still buy a house. We will still “be sensible”, but we will force ourselves to retain some level of freedom in our life. By “mixing it up” we hope to lead an exciting life, with plenty of choice and an easy going lifestyle. We don’t need a lot, but we need our freedom.

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Freedom

Upon arrival to the conference I was given a HP netbook – a HP Mini 2140 to be precise. I’m a massive geek and I love this thing (I’m typing this blog entry on it right now).

I just can’t believe how image driven Queensland is. I know everyone, everywhere is somewhat driven by image, but never before have I seen people so driven by image that their lives evolve around it. Talking to Queenslanders, watching them walk around on the streets, seeing the numerous mini trucks, heavily modified v8′s and turbo cars everywhere, not to mention people riding choppers, etc, etc – it’s just a state driven by looking good – at any cost! They are all trying to keep up with eachother, even though only few of them can afford to.

Obviously this sort of thing happens everywhere – certainly in Adelaide where I live, but just not on this scale.

While I’ve been here I’ve also had some time to catch up with my sister who lives in Queensland too. It’s been great to catch up with her, and finally meet my niece – who is just awesome.

Spending time with my sister and her family has once again reinforced my opinion that “things” and ”stuff” is just so unnecessary. I completely understand that people need their hobbies, they need their few luxuries, but at what cost?

This isn’t a dig at the state at all – it’s beautiful up here… In areas anyway. I’ve considered the idea of moving up here a fair few times now (although never seriously enough to talk with my fiancee about it). I just don’t know if I could keep up with everyone else. I really think that to survive in Queensland you need to be very career drive, have very well of parents, or be happy to live a life of eternal debt.

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Queensland’s Overindulgence

The average user on this forum is around the 16-17 year old mark, however there are plenty outside of those years, and it is an interesting insight into how my generation thinks. I’m fairly judgemental with the other users on this forum – to me, the majority of them are ignorant idiots who never use their brains. They struggle to consider things outside of the norm, and live in a very sheltered world.

Recently a thread was started by a member who’s friend had just died. He was asking people what they wanted from life, and how to know what to want. The others replied talking about the good and bad things that can happen in a life, and how it makes them feel, but what they never seem to talk about is controlling these good and bad things.

I don’t really want to preach the whole “power of positive thinking” thing, but it is worth pointing out that much more is in our control than we may think.

For example, since beginning work as a teacher, my partner hasn’t been the best communicator. Whatever I’d talk to her it would always be an information overload of what her students were working on, how they were acting, and so on, but she would never really talk to me about how she was doing.. Whether or not she was tired, stressed, happy, sad and so on. For a while it was a real issue for me – I like to know everything about her life so I can help her out in any way that I can, but she wouldn’t give me the information.

We are all different communicators – she never meant to keep information from me, and had no need to – just subconsciously didn’t believe that that was information relevant to our conversations. I on the other hand come home from work and tell her how happy, frustrated, etc my day was. During this time it was something that I believed had to be changed by her. After all, she was the one that wasn’t telling me how she felt – how could I change that?

My life coach put me on to some different communication methods that could help me to articulate what it was I was looking for when talking to my fiancee. As it turns out, some people don’t respond well to blunt questions about their emotions. Rather than just sit there and get frustrated, I now pick my questions carefully. Something that was previously out of my control, is now well within my control. I am now able to communicate more effectively with my partner, and get the information that I need from her.

Depression is a big one. I work with a lot of people that are depressed, and truthfully, it’s the environment. The culture in my workplace is to avoid work at all costs, postpone change until later, and let someone else take responsibility for decisions. As a result, it’s a tough place to work. Some handle it fine, and others struggle with it to the point where it is visibly affecting their life outside of work. At first glance, I can’t change the culture. I can’t encourage change – I’m not a manager. Realistically though, you can. Myself and a few others are always proactively looking for new work to be taken on. While the uptake of this new work is rare, when it does come around, we are the first to be picked to work on it – after all, we are the ones that have been asking for it.

Even health issues can be within our control. Diabetes, heart disease, and so on is largely caused by poor diet and lack of exercise. The most important thing to any animal is their health, and it is well within our abilities to control this.

There are a million examples that I could use for this one, but the point is the same. We can control so much in our lives than we are led to believe. Next time you are in a bad situation, learn from it – figure out what could be done better, and take the positives from it. Educate yourself to control your life, not just sit in your seat and see where it takes you!

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Control

With a negative mind, you can become frustrated, hurt and eventually depressed by these sorts of things, but if you view them in a positive light you become a much stronger person for it.

Take my parents for instance – they broke up when I was around 14. At the time my world came crashing down and I didn’t really know what to think. I lost the constant in my life – my home no longer housed a family, and my parents didn’t even speak anymore! Looking back on it all – they used to argue at home and it wasn’t the best environment to be growing up in (don’t get me wrong, there wasn’t any hitting or drunken rage or that sort of thing happening). My mum was just impossible to my father, and my dad pretty much just hated his life. While the divorce was hard for everyone, nowadays my dad is enjoying his life, and my mum has the freedom to do what she wants. The whole thing has made me much closer to my sister, and I have become a much stronger person because of it. With time to think about it, I can’t see there being any positives from my parents staying together.

Stay calm and stay composed – look for the positives in the negatives that surround your life, and enjoy them. There are plenty.

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Positivity from Negativity

Some people just have hobbies, while others are just so passionate about what they do – it’s instantly visible about how they feel.

Last weekend I caught up with my brother in law. The usual drinks and talking led us to his study where he had his keyboards hooked up to his computer and speakers – his little home studio. While he has played in a band in the past, this is his way of being about to make music on his own at any given time. Up until now I’d never really thought much about it. It just seemed as though it was something that he did, however when he was explaining everything to me I could just see it in the way he was talking – he really loves music, and has a real passion for it. We mucked around for about an hour with a few different sounds that sounded really cool at the time – not sure what they sound like sober though.

Another of my friends is right into his culture. It sounds like an odd one – culture, and it has visibly taken a few years for him to find himself, but it is obvious now that he has embraced the culture that he has grown up with, and experienced overseas while travelling, and defined it into cooking, eating, drinking and so on. I know others that enjoy eating and cooking, but his life really evolves around it. He spends his time making different flavoured spirits – to the point where he is growing special roses just to get the right flavour, and always has something new about food to tell me about whenever I see him.

In a world where no-one seems to have any direction, it’s nice to see some other people with such a strong passion. It gives you a purpose and a path to where you are heading, and if nothing else, makes day to day living that much sweeter!

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Passion in Life

The problem is, it’s hard to have a plan that you should stick to, when it doesn’t really align with your current goals. I’m currently working a job that I don’t really enjoy, while my fiancee works a job that means she has no time to spend with me, surrounded by people that shoot my ideas down as soon as they hear them. Not a very constructive environment!

So I’ve come to the conclusion that to keep my sanity I just need to switch my brain off for a few months. Next year the changes begin. I’ll have time with my partner and we will travel the world and just see where it takes us. I still very much want to be financially independant, but that doesn’t mean rich. Next year will hopefully lead me towards the life that I truly want – Lots of bike riding, lots of time spent outdoors, healthy food, and most importantly lots of quality time with my fiancee.

It sounds like a lot of “me, me, me” doesn’t it? I’ve spoken with my partner a lot about this now – both of us have come to the conclusion that the best way to support eachother is to be happy in our lives. Both of us need to chase our dreams, we just need to make them work together.

For now though, I’ll keep drinking on the weekends, I’ll keep going to barbeques, and I’ll try to keep my mouth shut when I speak to another 21 year old who wants to buy an investment property.

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Conform for a while

While my dad was never very successful, he grew up as a typical Aussie male.. He bought a few Holdens, got a trade, bought a boat, got married then divorced, then met my mother and sold the boat and had a family. He’d always told me how the choices that he made in life were never good enough for his dad and how he never had any support from him. On mum’s side, her mum was sick and her dad was pretty much a no show after her early teens, so she had to fend for herself from a young age with little support once again. Her dad has always given her a hard time about the choices that she has made in life too.

This seems quite common talking to a lot of  mates’ parents. Their parents would always be disappointed by them – things like what career they chose, that they didn’t buy a house early enough, got married too late and so on.

Turn it around though, and things appear to be completely different now. A considerable portion of my friends since leaving school have either travelled, and blown their cash in sacrifice of life experience, or bummed around at uni and not really achieved much, and with the full support of their parents! It’s like the Baby Boomers have learned that the way that they did it was wrong. They are almost giving us approval, or consent to go out there and just live – not necessarily find a safe job or start a family – just enjoy life.

Maybe it’s the way that we portray our lives to our parents – I know that my parents are very proud of the way that my fiancee and I are living our lives. Working now – going overseas next year. My dad is extremely proud of the way that I can go out drinking with the boys without my fiancee, and she trusts me, and vice-versa.

All things considered, the Baby Boomers seem to have faith in their kids – the Gen Y’s, despite some pretty poor decisions on our behalf from time to time.

Maybe they are just learning that there is in fact more than one way to live your life? Or have they just had such a safe life by taking their parents’ advice and getting a safe job, buying a house early and starting a family young, that they are happy to see their kids out there experiencing new things and taking some risks? Risks that they never took and now regret it?

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Approval to Live