r0dman.com

Anyone who has read a few posts from this site – r0dman.com would realise that I have a few issues with the way that people live their lives. Not so much individuals, but large demographics.

It’s not so much that I don’t approve – it doesn’t actually affect me, it’s that I see so many people failing to perform and I would honestly like to see them achieve.

We’re on this planet for a maximum of what, 100 years? It sounds like a long time but as a 25 years old I already realise that I am a 1/4 of the way through a best case scenario.

I think about my parents, newspaper articles, stories of grandparents, movies, and so on and what people have and haven’t achieved in their lives. Everyone effectively lives the same life;

1. Go to school
2. Go to work
3. Buy a house
4. Have children
5. Wait for the children to leave the house
6. Retire
7. Wait to die

Granted that’s a fairly subjective way of looking at it all, but if you break it down, it is what most people do with their life and what many more will do.

People are concerned with the small things along the way. For instance during the younger working years they might be able to buy a nice motorbike. Their friends at the time will tell them that they have “made it”. Years on they will have seen their children through school, and being so “successful” they will have funded their children’s tertiary education. The children move out, they retire at 65 and then go on a three week cruise with their wife. They have won the game of life.

…Or have they? Chances are this same person has spent the last 45 years working a job that they hate. They always wanted more time with the kids but couldn’t afford to work fewer hours because of the mortgage. Their kids are on track to live the same life as them because of how they were brought up, and unfortunately the cruise was a challenge more than anything else because they had to spend so much time in close quarters with their wife who they have lost touch with after years of stress and neglect due to their work.

As children we have these dreams of being all sorts of things. I remember wanting to own a black Porsche 911, being a BMX champion, live in a rainforest, and so on. Things that most adults would put in the “unobtainable” category. Are they really that ridiculous though?

Granted nowadays I lust over a Porsche but know full well that the money spent on one would help me attain many other things ($200,000 would bring in enough income every year for me to justify taking a day off of work every week).

These supposedly unobtainable goals are the ones that keep us excited and ideally, happy. I strongly believe that if I’m not happy, my wife won’t be happy. This means that while I always take her into account, from time to time I need to be honest to her about what I want from life. The alternative is “forgetting it” and ultimately living a life of regret.

Our society breeds mediocrity and no one can break you out of this mold aside from yourself. If you are very lucky a close friend or loved one may push you, but ultimately it’s up to you to make the choice to break free.

Start to define what you want from life, then start living your life in the direction of achieving your goals.

It’s not to say that you need to always be meeting goals and turning your life into some sort of statistical report, it’s just important to make sure that you are where you want to be or on track to where you want to be. Goals could be as simple as “be happy” or be ridiculously complex too. My goals are relatively simple, although will require some effort from myself and my partner.

I want to remain free, happy and healthy. I DON’T want the same lifestyle until the day I die. I don’t want the same job, same bills, same day to day frustrations and hassles. I want the both of us to be able to change when we need it. When our lifestyle becomes one that doesn’t facilitate a good relationship, we’ll change. Ultimately everyone has the ability to do this, it’s just that many people tie themselves down and then it all becomes too hard.

Think about what you would like and start to work towards it. Try not to think too much about possessions, they will come with the lifestyle that you want to attain.

If life isn’t how you pictured it would be, make some dreams.

Freedom is probably my favourite word. If there is anything that I want from life, it’s freedom. True freedom.

It’s interesting how we change during our lives. As a child we are completely free. We are happy to attempt anything, laugh and play and run and smile and whatever happens happens. Never thinking of the consequences, just acting in the moment.

As we begin to grow up though, we learn that there are consequences to our actions. While this is healthy – learning for ourselves that we can get hurt from jumping from something too high – we also learn a lot from our parents. We are told not to climb too high – “you will fall and hurt yourself, come down please”, told to slow down on our bike – “don’t go too fast, you will hurt yourself” and told not to eat too many lollies – “you will feel sick if you eat too many of those”. It’s not a negative thing – parents look out for the well-being of their children.

From the innocent advice given by our parents when we were young, we are then bombarded with why not to do things. Fear on TV, fear in the paper, fear everywhere. If we aren’t given the advice directly by the TV, our parents are. Stay in line and everything will be ok, you will be safe, but be different, and who knows what will happen!

Most people, myself included to an extent, grow up into people that just conform and do the same as everyone else. We no longer laugh and run around and jump and do whatever we choose. We know that if we laugh at the wrong thing people can be offended. We know if we run around and jump up and down we will look like an idiot, so we take the safe option.

We all call it “growing up” and “being sensible”, but from my experience most people hate the constraints in which they live… They crave the freedom that they had as a child, it just takes a long time to realise this.

It seems almost a textbook lifestyle cycle for the Baby Boomers – my parents’ generation. They were born, free spirited fun loving children, then “grew up” and did the “sensible” thing and bought houses, had families and so on. Now as the kids are moving out, they are wanting their freedom back. Some may be rich enough to buy a holiday house, some travel around the world by plane or on a cruise ship, while others buy a caravan and drive around, stopping wherever they please. It’s becoming less and less common for them to just grow old in their house nowadays.

It’s been something that I have been aware of for a few years now, but only now am I piecing it all together. Humans are creatures that are born in nature. We need our freedom to be sane. Early this year my fiancee and I made the decision to lead a life of change. We will still buy a house. We will still “be sensible”, but we will force ourselves to retain some level of freedom in our life. By “mixing it up” we hope to lead an exciting life, with plenty of choice and an easy going lifestyle. We don’t need a lot, but we need our freedom.

While I’m not really that different to most people out there, I suppose I have some fairly different ideals. It’s empowering (and once again, this sounds arrogant, but it’s not intended that way) to think that since I’ve actually given it some thought, I may well know a better way to live my life.

The problem is, it’s hard to have a plan that you should stick to, when it doesn’t really align with your current goals. I’m currently working a job that I don’t really enjoy, while my fiancee works a job that means she has no time to spend with me, surrounded by people that shoot my ideas down as soon as they hear them. Not a very constructive environment!

So I’ve come to the conclusion that to keep my sanity I just need to switch my brain off for a few months. Next year the changes begin. I’ll have time with my partner and we will travel the world and just see where it takes us. I still very much want to be financially independant, but that doesn’t mean rich. Next year will hopefully lead me towards the life that I truly want – Lots of bike riding, lots of time spent outdoors, healthy food, and most importantly lots of quality time with my fiancee.

It sounds like a lot of “me, me, me” doesn’t it? I’ve spoken with my partner a lot about this now – both of us have come to the conclusion that the best way to support eachother is to be happy in our lives. Both of us need to chase our dreams, we just need to make them work together.

For now though, I’ll keep drinking on the weekends, I’ll keep going to barbeques, and I’ll try to keep my mouth shut when I speak to another 21 year old who wants to buy an investment property.

I browse a lot of Internet forums – Mountain biking, cars, property and so on. You wouldn’t believe how many people are talking about the 90 million dollar Oz Lotto tomorrow night.

“What cars would you buy?”, “Where would you buy a house and what sort?”, and so on. I was talking to the guys at work about it last week and I’m convinced that nothing “amazing” like winning 90 million will ever happen to me, but I take comfort that along with that I don’t believe anything terrible will happen to me in my life either. I’ll just ride the wave, enjoy it to the max, and then die one day.

Australia is the new America. Rampant consumerism, and while I like my “stuff”, it’s insane to think that my life could be that much better just with more money. In fact you only have to look to the “stars” to see how the money ends up owning them in the long run.

For instance – I am relatively healthy, in a good career and with my fiancee who makes me so very happy. I am lucky enough to know my passion – bikes. I love the outdoors and my freedom. Obviously I’m not going to say that money wouldn’t make some of these things easier to acquire – bikes for instance – I could have hundreds if I was loaded, but what is the point? Where is the satisfaction in having a few hundred bikes when in reality you will only ever ride maybe 5 of them regularly? Being rich is a false economy. I’m not going to love my fiancee any more if I’m rich, I’m not going to get any healthier if I’m rich, and I’m not going to feel any more free if I’m rich either.

I’m sure if you think about it in your life too, the benefits will be limited as well.

Winning a lump sum of money like this will just throw all frugality out of the window, and before long you will be “two steps back”.

Maybe I’m just sour about others winning, maybe I’m in denial, but I honestly think that people bank on money (no pun intended), that bit too much. If money is the thing that will make you the happiest in life, it’s time for a reality check. There is so much out there to make you smile, make you laugh, or give you a rush that doesn’t cost a cent!

Last night one of my close friends came around and I fixed his laptop for him. It took a good 5 hours and was a great catch up in the mean time.

He’s recently had a son, and while absolutely stoked on being a father, money is now a major concern.

You know those people that always need more? He’s one of those people, and he admits it openly. “I need to write a book”, he said, “I’ll call it Getting the f*ck over it“. It’s good that he can see where his hangups lie!

Here is a healthy mid 20′s male, engaged to an attractive woman who has just given birth to a healthy baby boy. They live in a nice house, and are financially safe from what I can tell. Aside from money, he is the sort of person who can see the bright side of everything.

My only words of wisdom to him were “you can never win when comparing yourself to others by income, but you can with happiness”. Don’t get me wrong, money is nice, but in the end it doesn’t make you truely happy. If you were just happy, all day every day – you can’t tell me you wouldn’t be a happier person than the remaining 90% of the world.

Choice is such a nice thing to have, but it can also be a curse. Many people choose to want more than they can realistically achieve, and their entire life just becomes one big frustration.

Choosing to enjoy your life and not comparing yourself too much with others is a step in the right direction. Live life how you want to, and not how everyone else is. Follow your dreams, and don’t listen to others’ negative opinions.

I’m planning on living the dream next year. Only 8 more months of saving and preparation!