It’s not so much that I don’t approve – it doesn’t actually affect me, it’s that I see so many people failing to perform and I would honestly like to see them achieve.

We’re on this planet for a maximum of what, 100 years? It sounds like a long time but as a 25 years old I already realise that I am a 1/4 of the way through a best case scenario.

I think about my parents, newspaper articles, stories of grandparents, movies, and so on and what people have and haven’t achieved in their lives. Everyone effectively lives the same life;

1. Go to school
2. Go to work
3. Buy a house
4. Have children
5. Wait for the children to leave the house
6. Retire
7. Wait to die

Granted that’s a fairly subjective way of looking at it all, but if you break it down, it is what most people do with their life and what many more will do.

People are concerned with the small things along the way. For instance during the younger working years they might be able to buy a nice motorbike. Their friends at the time will tell them that they have “made it”. Years on they will have seen their children through school, and being so “successful” they will have funded their children’s tertiary education. The children move out, they retire at 65 and then go on a three week cruise with their wife. They have won the game of life.

…Or have they? Chances are this same person has spent the last 45 years working a job that they hate. They always wanted more time with the kids but couldn’t afford to work fewer hours because of the mortgage. Their kids are on track to live the same life as them because of how they were brought up, and unfortunately the cruise was a challenge more than anything else because they had to spend so much time in close quarters with their wife who they have lost touch with after years of stress and neglect due to their work.

As children we have these dreams of being all sorts of things. I remember wanting to own a black Porsche 911, being a BMX champion, live in a rainforest, and so on. Things that most adults would put in the “unobtainable” category. Are they really that ridiculous though?

Granted nowadays I lust over a Porsche but know full well that the money spent on one would help me attain many other things ($200,000 would bring in enough income every year for me to justify taking a day off of work every week).

These supposedly unobtainable goals are the ones that keep us excited and ideally, happy. I strongly believe that if I’m not happy, my wife won’t be happy. This means that while I always take her into account, from time to time I need to be honest to her about what I want from life. The alternative is “forgetting it” and ultimately living a life of regret.

Our society breeds mediocrity and no one can break you out of this mold aside from yourself. If you are very lucky a close friend or loved one may push you, but ultimately it’s up to you to make the choice to break free.

Start to define what you want from life, then start living your life in the direction of achieving your goals.

It’s not to say that you need to always be meeting goals and turning your life into some sort of statistical report, it’s just important to make sure that you are where you want to be or on track to where you want to be. Goals could be as simple as “be happy” or be ridiculously complex too. My goals are relatively simple, although will require some effort from myself and my partner.

I want to remain free, happy and healthy. I DON’T want the same lifestyle until the day I die. I don’t want the same job, same bills, same day to day frustrations and hassles. I want the both of us to be able to change when we need it. When our lifestyle becomes one that doesn’t facilitate a good relationship, we’ll change. Ultimately everyone has the ability to do this, it’s just that many people tie themselves down and then it all becomes too hard.

Think about what you would like and start to work towards it. Try not to think too much about possessions, they will come with the lifestyle that you want to attain.

If life isn’t how you pictured it would be, make some dreams.

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Dreaming Bigger than Mediocrity

It’s interesting how we change during our lives. As a child we are completely free. We are happy to attempt anything, laugh and play and run and smile and whatever happens happens. Never thinking of the consequences, just acting in the moment.

As we begin to grow up though, we learn that there are consequences to our actions. While this is healthy – learning for ourselves that we can get hurt from jumping from something too high – we also learn a lot from our parents. We are told not to climb too high – “you will fall and hurt yourself, come down please”, told to slow down on our bike – “don’t go too fast, you will hurt yourself” and told not to eat too many lollies – “you will feel sick if you eat too many of those”. It’s not a negative thing – parents look out for the well-being of their children.

From the innocent advice given by our parents when we were young, we are then bombarded with why not to do things. Fear on TV, fear in the paper, fear everywhere. If we aren’t given the advice directly by the TV, our parents are. Stay in line and everything will be ok, you will be safe, but be different, and who knows what will happen!

Most people, myself included to an extent, grow up into people that just conform and do the same as everyone else. We no longer laugh and run around and jump and do whatever we choose. We know that if we laugh at the wrong thing people can be offended. We know if we run around and jump up and down we will look like an idiot, so we take the safe option.

We all call it “growing up” and “being sensible”, but from my experience most people hate the constraints in which they live… They crave the freedom that they had as a child, it just takes a long time to realise this.

It seems almost a textbook lifestyle cycle for the Baby Boomers – my parents’ generation. They were born, free spirited fun loving children, then “grew up” and did the “sensible” thing and bought houses, had families and so on. Now as the kids are moving out, they are wanting their freedom back. Some may be rich enough to buy a holiday house, some travel around the world by plane or on a cruise ship, while others buy a caravan and drive around, stopping wherever they please. It’s becoming less and less common for them to just grow old in their house nowadays.

It’s been something that I have been aware of for a few years now, but only now am I piecing it all together. Humans are creatures that are born in nature. We need our freedom to be sane. Early this year my fiancee and I made the decision to lead a life of change. We will still buy a house. We will still “be sensible”, but we will force ourselves to retain some level of freedom in our life. By “mixing it up” we hope to lead an exciting life, with plenty of choice and an easy going lifestyle. We don’t need a lot, but we need our freedom.

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Freedom

The problem is, it’s hard to have a plan that you should stick to, when it doesn’t really align with your current goals. I’m currently working a job that I don’t really enjoy, while my fiancee works a job that means she has no time to spend with me, surrounded by people that shoot my ideas down as soon as they hear them. Not a very constructive environment!

So I’ve come to the conclusion that to keep my sanity I just need to switch my brain off for a few months. Next year the changes begin. I’ll have time with my partner and we will travel the world and just see where it takes us. I still very much want to be financially independant, but that doesn’t mean rich. Next year will hopefully lead me towards the life that I truly want – Lots of bike riding, lots of time spent outdoors, healthy food, and most importantly lots of quality time with my fiancee.

It sounds like a lot of “me, me, me” doesn’t it? I’ve spoken with my partner a lot about this now – both of us have come to the conclusion that the best way to support eachother is to be happy in our lives. Both of us need to chase our dreams, we just need to make them work together.

For now though, I’ll keep drinking on the weekends, I’ll keep going to barbeques, and I’ll try to keep my mouth shut when I speak to another 21 year old who wants to buy an investment property.

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Conform for a while

“What cars would you buy?”, “Where would you buy a house and what sort?”, and so on. I was talking to the guys at work about it last week and I’m convinced that nothing “amazing” like winning 90 million will ever happen to me, but I take comfort that along with that I don’t believe anything terrible will happen to me in my life either. I’ll just ride the wave, enjoy it to the max, and then die one day.

Australia is the new America. Rampant consumerism, and while I like my “stuff”, it’s insane to think that my life could be that much better just with more money. In fact you only have to look to the “stars” to see how the money ends up owning them in the long run.

For instance – I am relatively healthy, in a good career and with my fiancee who makes me so very happy. I am lucky enough to know my passion – bikes. I love the outdoors and my freedom. Obviously I’m not going to say that money wouldn’t make some of these things easier to acquire – bikes for instance – I could have hundreds if I was loaded, but what is the point? Where is the satisfaction in having a few hundred bikes when in reality you will only ever ride maybe 5 of them regularly? Being rich is a false economy. I’m not going to love my fiancee any more if I’m rich, I’m not going to get any healthier if I’m rich, and I’m not going to feel any more free if I’m rich either.

I’m sure if you think about it in your life too, the benefits will be limited as well.

Winning a lump sum of money like this will just throw all frugality out of the window, and before long you will be “two steps back”.

Maybe I’m just sour about others winning, maybe I’m in denial, but I honestly think that people bank on money (no pun intended), that bit too much. If money is the thing that will make you the happiest in life, it’s time for a reality check. There is so much out there to make you smile, make you laugh, or give you a rush that doesn’t cost a cent!

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90 Million Dollars!

He’s recently had a son, and while absolutely stoked on being a father, money is now a major concern.

You know those people that always need more? He’s one of those people, and he admits it openly. “I need to write a book”, he said, “I’ll call it Getting the f*ck over it“. It’s good that he can see where his hangups lie!

Here is a healthy mid 20′s male, engaged to an attractive woman who has just given birth to a healthy baby boy. They live in a nice house, and are financially safe from what I can tell. Aside from money, he is the sort of person who can see the bright side of everything.

My only words of wisdom to him were “you can never win when comparing yourself to others by income, but you can with happiness”. Don’t get me wrong, money is nice, but in the end it doesn’t make you truely happy. If you were just happy, all day every day – you can’t tell me you wouldn’t be a happier person than the remaining 90% of the world.

Choice is such a nice thing to have, but it can also be a curse. Many people choose to want more than they can realistically achieve, and their entire life just becomes one big frustration.

Choosing to enjoy your life and not comparing yourself too much with others is a step in the right direction. Live life how you want to, and not how everyone else is. Follow your dreams, and don’t listen to others’ negative opinions.

I’m planning on living the dream next year. Only 8 more months of saving and preparation!

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Choosing your Life

I’ve heard people say that “laughing is good for the soul” before, but I’ve never really given it much thought.

On the whole, my fiancee and I are happy people. Things rarely get us down and on the whole we are fairly resilient people. I really think that a lot of this comes from the laughs that we have together and with others. As a couple, we are always joking around the house and saying funny things. We joke around with our family, and now that I think about it, our circle of friends is slowly turning into a group that can take a joke, rather than people that will always take your jokes the wrong way.

Obviously there’s a time and a place for some good laughter, but sometimes you just need to look on the bright side of life and have a chuckle. It costs nothing, it’s portable and anyone can do it! Laugh a little.

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Laughing

I think the biggest mistake that some people make is pretending to be someone who they aren’t, just to make a relationship work. If you are your true self 100% of the time, there’s nothing to lose. Your partner knows what you are like, who you really are, and what to expect. This in my opinion is how quality relationships are formed.

Anyway, I copped a barrage of abuse. Closed minded sheep that are set in their ways. The comical thing was that the majority of them posting abuse at me had never had a decent long term relationship. By the sounds of it, most don’t communicate when in a relationship and try to conform to the rules that society set for their relationship, only to end up failing each time they try.

The point that I then brought up was whether or not they would dump someone for cheating, or try and work things out. Literally all except one of them said they’d dump the other person.

Now I hate talking about this crap, but it is interesting. I think it’s a perfect example of people getting hung up on small things in their life, rather than just living it an experiencing it for the journey. I’m not suggesting that people let their partner walk all over them, but I just believe that people are too quick to break things off nowadays. Fact of the matter is, life won’t always go your way.

I was talking to my fiancee the other day, relaxing down by the river on a Sunday afternoon. After talking about her niece and nephew, she said “imagine if we couldn’t have kids”. In the past I’d have thought that she would be devastated, but after asking her what she would do she just said “that’s life, you’ve gotta move on”. For sure, I’d be disappointed for a bit too, but it’s not as though my life would be over. I think some people place too much emphasis on too few things. To me, life is a journey. Ups and downs, good times and bad, but ultimately every time there is a good or bad occurrence, it just opens a new door.

I get annoyed or unhappy from time to time like everyone does, but I really think you can make a conscious decision to “look on the bright side of life”.

When we talked about the possibility of not having children, I realised that although at first we’d be disappointed, it would mean a life of togetherness. Most parents I speak to say that the time before they had kids was the best time in their relationship. I could handle living my whole life like that!

Being a kid, life is just fun. You roll with the punches and keep on going. You don’t hesitate, because nothing can stop you. If you fail, you just get up and try again. As we get older, we lose this carelessness. We get hung up on the small things and let life beat us down and stop us from living the life that we really want.

If you take a step back and think about life, it’s amazing. Embrace it for what it is and enjoy as much of it as you can. It’s the best journey you’ll ever experience.

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Journey called Life

I had a really bad start to the week as far as my happiness is concerned. I’m usually a pretty cheerful person, but after a less than ideal weekend as far as my diet and excercise goes, I was down in the dumps. I don’t really get depressed as such and wouldn’t consider it an “issue”, I think I’m just quite hard on myself. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I had no energy and just wanted to sleep. Even this morning when I woke up I just wanted to keep on sleeping and chuck a sickie. I hadn’t gone for a ride for quite some time, taking the soft option to get to work, either by car or public transport, and I haven’t had a fruit smoothie since Saturday (I’m no good at eating fruit, so having a smoothie is my way of getting a decent intake of fruit every day).

After being disappointed at myself for slacking off, I forced myself to ride this morning. I got up, had a glass of water, made my smoothie, had some toast, and packed my bag ready to go. Up until walking out the door I felt drained, yet as soon as I started pedalling my energy levels picked up.

I’m convinced that excercise actually generates energy in our bodies. It certainly does for me. I find that if I just go to work by car or bus, sit at my desk all day, go home, eat and lie down on the sofa again, I just feel like life is just one big waste. I have no energy to get motivated and go and do something. Watching another episode of The Sopranos seems like a better option than going and riding my pump track.

It doesn’t take much to snap out of it though. Today I rode to work, I’m full of beans, and keen to ride home. When I get home, I’ll swap bikes, and go for a cross country loop up to my fiancee’s parents’ house for dinner.

I’ve come to the conclusion that three things make me happy in this world.

1. My fiancee, obviously. When we have the time to spend together she just makes me smile and smile and smile. I couldn’t have met a more like-minded person that is so much fun to chill out with.
2. Riding bikes. When I’m on a bike I’m just stoked to be living. The most random things make me happy while riding. You come across all sorts of stuff that you don’t see when you’re in a car confined to the roads. You come to appreciate all sorts of things too… Nice weather, council workers sweeping the glass off the track, quality puncture proof tyres!
3. Outdoors. Obviously ties in with riding, but even just walking outside and looking up at the sky is enough to put a smile on my face. I love the rain. I love the sunshine. As painful as it is riding in the cold during winter, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My favourite place in the world is The Great Otway National Park. Not that I’m well travelled, but it is beautiful there. My second favourite is Mt Lofty Botanic Gardens. No electronics, no advertising, nothing really. Just the outdoors, and it is beautiful.

I’m glad that I know this. Not many people know what makes them happy. I just need to keep the ball rolling now to stay motivated.

It’s very easy to make me happy, but I find it hard to stay motivated. Without that motivation, I end up unhappy.

I’m the most complex, simple person I know. I’m cool with that though.

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Achieving happiness