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I regularly read a large Australian based car enthusiast forum. It’s something that has carried over from my late teenage/early 20′s years when I was really interested in cars. Nowadays, it’s just somewhere to kill some time when I’m bored at work. While the forum frustrates me at times, it always pulls me back in because it’s the one forum where I can post and have a reply in a matter of minutes, sometimes seconds.

The average user on this forum is around the 16-17 year old mark, however there are plenty outside of those years, and it is an interesting insight into how my generation thinks. I’m fairly judgemental with the other users on this forum – to me, the majority of them are ignorant idiots who never use their brains. They struggle to consider things outside of the norm, and live in a very sheltered world.

Recently a thread was started by a member who’s friend had just died. He was asking people what they wanted from life, and how to know what to want. The others replied talking about the good and bad things that can happen in a life, and how it makes them feel, but what they never seem to talk about is controlling these good and bad things.

I don’t really want to preach the whole “power of positive thinking” thing, but it is worth pointing out that much more is in our control than we may think.

For example, since beginning work as a teacher, my partner hasn’t been the best communicator. Whatever I’d talk to her it would always be an information overload of what her students were working on, how they were acting, and so on, but she would never really talk to me about how she was doing.. Whether or not she was tired, stressed, happy, sad and so on. For a while it was a real issue for me – I like to know everything about her life so I can help her out in any way that I can, but she wouldn’t give me the information.

We are all different communicators – she never meant to keep information from me, and had no need to – just subconsciously didn’t believe that that was information relevant to our conversations. I on the other hand come home from work and tell her how happy, frustrated, etc my day was. During this time it was something that I believed had to be changed by her. After all, she was the one that wasn’t telling me how she felt – how could I change that?

My life coach put me on to some different communication methods that could help me to articulate what it was I was looking for when talking to my fiancee. As it turns out, some people don’t respond well to blunt questions about their emotions. Rather than just sit there and get frustrated, I now pick my questions carefully. Something that was previously out of my control, is now well within my control. I am now able to communicate more effectively with my partner, and get the information that I need from her.

Depression is a big one. I work with a lot of people that are depressed, and truthfully, it’s the environment. The culture in my workplace is to avoid work at all costs, postpone change until later, and let someone else take responsibility for decisions. As a result, it’s a tough place to work. Some handle it fine, and others struggle with it to the point where it is visibly affecting their life outside of work. At first glance, I can’t change the culture. I can’t encourage change – I’m not a manager. Realistically though, you can. Myself and a few others are always proactively looking for new work to be taken on. While the uptake of this new work is rare, when it does come around, we are the first to be picked to work on it – after all, we are the ones that have been asking for it.

Even health issues can be within our control. Diabetes, heart disease, and so on is largely caused by poor diet and lack of exercise. The most important thing to any animal is their health, and it is well within our abilities to control this.

There are a million examples that I could use for this one, but the point is the same. We can control so much in our lives than we are led to believe. Next time you are in a bad situation, learn from it – figure out what could be done better, and take the positives from it. Educate yourself to control your life, not just sit in your seat and see where it takes you!

Having a passion in life is something that I have always been lucky enough to have, without giving it much thought. While I feel very passionate about my fiancee, I think it is important for everyone to have something else to live for than their partner. For me, it’s bikes. Downhill bikes, road bikes, cross country bikes, commuting bikes and so on. My life pretty much evolves around riding them, reading up on new ones, building bikes, cleaning and maintaining them, and helping out others who are looking for advice. Riding bikes isn’t a hobby to me – my life has grown around it!

Some people just have hobbies, while others are just so passionate about what they do – it’s instantly visible about how they feel.

Last weekend I caught up with my brother in law. The usual drinks and talking led us to his study where he had his keyboards hooked up to his computer and speakers – his little home studio. While he has played in a band in the past, this is his way of being about to make music on his own at any given time. Up until now I’d never really thought much about it. It just seemed as though it was something that he did, however when he was explaining everything to me I could just see it in the way he was talking – he really loves music, and has a real passion for it. We mucked around for about an hour with a few different sounds that sounded really cool at the time – not sure what they sound like sober though.

Another of my friends is right into his culture. It sounds like an odd one – culture, and it has visibly taken a few years for him to find himself, but it is obvious now that he has embraced the culture that he has grown up with, and experienced overseas while travelling, and defined it into cooking, eating, drinking and so on. I know others that enjoy eating and cooking, but his life really evolves around it. He spends his time making different flavoured spirits – to the point where he is growing special roses just to get the right flavour, and always has something new about food to tell me about whenever I see him.

In a world where no-one seems to have any direction, it’s nice to see some other people with such a strong passion. It gives you a purpose and a path to where you are heading, and if nothing else, makes day to day living that much sweeter!

You know how kids just can’t do anything wrong in their parents’ eyes?

While my dad was never very successful, he grew up as a typical Aussie male.. He bought a few Holdens, got a trade, bought a boat, got married then divorced, then met my mother and sold the boat and had a family. He’d always told me how the choices that he made in life were never good enough for his dad and how he never had any support from him. On mum’s side, her mum was sick and her dad was pretty much a no show after her early teens, so she had to fend for herself from a young age with little support once again. Her dad has always given her a hard time about the choices that she has made in life too.

This seems quite common talking to a lot of  mates’ parents. Their parents would always be disappointed by them – things like what career they chose, that they didn’t buy a house early enough, got married too late and so on.

Turn it around though, and things appear to be completely different now. A considerable portion of my friends since leaving school have either travelled, and blown their cash in sacrifice of life experience, or bummed around at uni and not really achieved much, and with the full support of their parents! It’s like the Baby Boomers have learned that the way that they did it was wrong. They are almost giving us approval, or consent to go out there and just live – not necessarily find a safe job or start a family – just enjoy life.

Maybe it’s the way that we portray our lives to our parents – I know that my parents are very proud of the way that my fiancee and I are living our lives. Working now – going overseas next year. My dad is extremely proud of the way that I can go out drinking with the boys without my fiancee, and she trusts me, and vice-versa.

All things considered, the Baby Boomers seem to have faith in their kids – the Gen Y’s, despite some pretty poor decisions on our behalf from time to time.

Maybe they are just learning that there is in fact more than one way to live your life? Or have they just had such a safe life by taking their parents’ advice and getting a safe job, buying a house early and starting a family young, that they are happy to see their kids out there experiencing new things and taking some risks? Risks that they never took and now regret it?

I browse a lot of Internet forums – Mountain biking, cars, property and so on. You wouldn’t believe how many people are talking about the 90 million dollar Oz Lotto tomorrow night.

“What cars would you buy?”, “Where would you buy a house and what sort?”, and so on. I was talking to the guys at work about it last week and I’m convinced that nothing “amazing” like winning 90 million will ever happen to me, but I take comfort that along with that I don’t believe anything terrible will happen to me in my life either. I’ll just ride the wave, enjoy it to the max, and then die one day.

Australia is the new America. Rampant consumerism, and while I like my “stuff”, it’s insane to think that my life could be that much better just with more money. In fact you only have to look to the “stars” to see how the money ends up owning them in the long run.

For instance – I am relatively healthy, in a good career and with my fiancee who makes me so very happy. I am lucky enough to know my passion – bikes. I love the outdoors and my freedom. Obviously I’m not going to say that money wouldn’t make some of these things easier to acquire – bikes for instance – I could have hundreds if I was loaded, but what is the point? Where is the satisfaction in having a few hundred bikes when in reality you will only ever ride maybe 5 of them regularly? Being rich is a false economy. I’m not going to love my fiancee any more if I’m rich, I’m not going to get any healthier if I’m rich, and I’m not going to feel any more free if I’m rich either.

I’m sure if you think about it in your life too, the benefits will be limited as well.

Winning a lump sum of money like this will just throw all frugality out of the window, and before long you will be “two steps back”.

Maybe I’m just sour about others winning, maybe I’m in denial, but I honestly think that people bank on money (no pun intended), that bit too much. If money is the thing that will make you the happiest in life, it’s time for a reality check. There is so much out there to make you smile, make you laugh, or give you a rush that doesn’t cost a cent!

Last night one of my close friends came around and I fixed his laptop for him. It took a good 5 hours and was a great catch up in the mean time.

He’s recently had a son, and while absolutely stoked on being a father, money is now a major concern.

You know those people that always need more? He’s one of those people, and he admits it openly. “I need to write a book”, he said, “I’ll call it Getting the f*ck over it“. It’s good that he can see where his hangups lie!

Here is a healthy mid 20′s male, engaged to an attractive woman who has just given birth to a healthy baby boy. They live in a nice house, and are financially safe from what I can tell. Aside from money, he is the sort of person who can see the bright side of everything.

My only words of wisdom to him were “you can never win when comparing yourself to others by income, but you can with happiness”. Don’t get me wrong, money is nice, but in the end it doesn’t make you truely happy. If you were just happy, all day every day – you can’t tell me you wouldn’t be a happier person than the remaining 90% of the world.

Choice is such a nice thing to have, but it can also be a curse. Many people choose to want more than they can realistically achieve, and their entire life just becomes one big frustration.

Choosing to enjoy your life and not comparing yourself too much with others is a step in the right direction. Live life how you want to, and not how everyone else is. Follow your dreams, and don’t listen to others’ negative opinions.

I’m planning on living the dream next year. Only 8 more months of saving and preparation!