r0dman.com

Anyone who has read a few posts from this site – r0dman.com would realise that I have a few issues with the way that people live their lives. Not so much individuals, but large demographics.

It’s not so much that I don’t approve – it doesn’t actually affect me, it’s that I see so many people failing to perform and I would honestly like to see them achieve.

We’re on this planet for a maximum of what, 100 years? It sounds like a long time but as a 25 years old I already realise that I am a 1/4 of the way through a best case scenario.

I think about my parents, newspaper articles, stories of grandparents, movies, and so on and what people have and haven’t achieved in their lives. Everyone effectively lives the same life;

1. Go to school
2. Go to work
3. Buy a house
4. Have children
5. Wait for the children to leave the house
6. Retire
7. Wait to die

Granted that’s a fairly subjective way of looking at it all, but if you break it down, it is what most people do with their life and what many more will do.

People are concerned with the small things along the way. For instance during the younger working years they might be able to buy a nice motorbike. Their friends at the time will tell them that they have “made it”. Years on they will have seen their children through school, and being so “successful” they will have funded their children’s tertiary education. The children move out, they retire at 65 and then go on a three week cruise with their wife. They have won the game of life.

…Or have they? Chances are this same person has spent the last 45 years working a job that they hate. They always wanted more time with the kids but couldn’t afford to work fewer hours because of the mortgage. Their kids are on track to live the same life as them because of how they were brought up, and unfortunately the cruise was a challenge more than anything else because they had to spend so much time in close quarters with their wife who they have lost touch with after years of stress and neglect due to their work.

As children we have these dreams of being all sorts of things. I remember wanting to own a black Porsche 911, being a BMX champion, live in a rainforest, and so on. Things that most adults would put in the “unobtainable” category. Are they really that ridiculous though?

Granted nowadays I lust over a Porsche but know full well that the money spent on one would help me attain many other things ($200,000 would bring in enough income every year for me to justify taking a day off of work every week).

These supposedly unobtainable goals are the ones that keep us excited and ideally, happy. I strongly believe that if I’m not happy, my wife won’t be happy. This means that while I always take her into account, from time to time I need to be honest to her about what I want from life. The alternative is “forgetting it” and ultimately living a life of regret.

Our society breeds mediocrity and no one can break you out of this mold aside from yourself. If you are very lucky a close friend or loved one may push you, but ultimately it’s up to you to make the choice to break free.

Start to define what you want from life, then start living your life in the direction of achieving your goals.

It’s not to say that you need to always be meeting goals and turning your life into some sort of statistical report, it’s just important to make sure that you are where you want to be or on track to where you want to be. Goals could be as simple as “be happy” or be ridiculously complex too. My goals are relatively simple, although will require some effort from myself and my partner.

I want to remain free, happy and healthy. I DON’T want the same lifestyle until the day I die. I don’t want the same job, same bills, same day to day frustrations and hassles. I want the both of us to be able to change when we need it. When our lifestyle becomes one that doesn’t facilitate a good relationship, we’ll change. Ultimately everyone has the ability to do this, it’s just that many people tie themselves down and then it all becomes too hard.

Think about what you would like and start to work towards it. Try not to think too much about possessions, they will come with the lifestyle that you want to attain.

If life isn’t how you pictured it would be, make some dreams.

Don’t you love it when things just fall into place? Without any planning whatsoever, it all just works out nicely?

Well maybe you are like me – I’ve always been the sort of person that seems to have everything coming their way. I “got the girl” when I was back in school. I had the nice flashy cars when I wanted them, and have never had much trouble finding work.

Up until about 6 months ago I just assumed that I am a lucky person, but after being enlightened by my life coach it appears that I put more effort into my decisions than I realise, and as a result most things in my life tend to work out well.

On my second meeting with my life coach, let’s call her C, she asked me whether or not I “often find that things always just go your way?”. She caught me out – up until that question I thought the whole concept of life planning was going to be a joke.

How did this woman know that things always go my way?

She explained that I am the sort of person that spends a lot of time planning and preparing for each decision that I make in life, and up until now I didn’t really realise what I was doing. I was just doing it without giving it much thought.

For instance..

• I always had nice cars because I spent the time saving hard for them, rather than just buying what I could afford at the time. I had to wait longer to get them, but that just meant that I appreciated them more.
• I have no real qualifications, just experience. From the start of my career, I have understood that without a degree I needed to carefully plan my career and use “stepping stones” to get where I wanted to be. A few years back that meant sitting on a help-desk being abused by irate customers for a 18 months. Now it means putting my hand up for any random projects just to “get involved” and also work on new technology. As a result, when I apply for jobs, I always seem to either get the job, or come a close second.

Planning and preparation is relative to most aspects of our lives. From basic things like what product to buy, or to life decisions such as who to marry and so on.

We are in a world where we are encouraged to make quick decisions, without much consideration. While a little spontaneity is healthy, too much and you’ll find yourself with just no direction and little reward.

It’s been something that obviously comes naturally to myself, but even if it doesn’t come naturally, it’s something that is at least worth trying. Next time you are about to make a decision, think about it a second time before committing.