Relative Viewpoint
My fiancee and I were at my dad’s place for dinner last week. My father has remarried and is pretty much happier now than I’ve ever seen him, although the combination of his viewpoints and his wife’s ranting make them a force to be reckoned with. These nights usually go the same way – we sit down before dinner and all catch up, have dinner and then the conversation ends up being between my father and his wife while my fiancee and I sit there and listen to them get frustrated over something trivial.
On this particular night they were whinging about one of their typical gripes… “Dole bludging scum from Elizabeth”. In their view, these dole bludgers get money to get drunk and have more kids that they don’t take care of, while the harder that my father and his wife work, the more tax they pay. A harsh view, but after working out in that side of town for quite some time now I have to agree with some of their gripes.
They get pretty aggravated while having these conversations and I usually just end up butting in with a “hey, you’re living in a nice house, eat good food, and drive new cars… life could be worse”. Getting aggro about these sorts of things is just added stress that nobody needs.
During the car ride home I was talking to my fiancee about where your viewpoint in life can be, or where you make your comparisons from. I have always found it easy to look at the bigger picture. Life is amazing when you consider that in Australia we pretty much all eat well, sleep in a warm bed and on the whole have a lot of “stuff” – compared to that of a starving child in the cold in India, I’m living like a king! In a global sense, not very many of us have something to complain about.
But really, it’s hard to make these comparisons sometimes. While I am quite a happy person because of this “bigger picture” view, sometimes you do need to compare yourself to those in your locality. For example at work, if you are working in a team of equals, comparing yourself to others is fair. If you are in an environment where you are forced to work fives times harder than everyone else in your team, and you live with it just because of starving kids elsewhere, you’ll end up becoming very frustrated and probably end up quitting or stressing out.
I think it’s important to have a healthy balance of both. Considering everything in a worldwide perspective is a great way to appreciate what you have, even if in a local perspective it’s not very much. It keeps you happy about what you already have and often negates your need for more “stuff”.
On the flip-side, while staying happy about what you already have, comparing yourself to others directly related to you keeps you in check and ensures that you’re standing up for yourself. After all – in order to live in the global world, you have to live in a demographic somewhere, regardless of what that demographic is.